The art of dating ebook
By learning these principles, you can be successful with anyone, including a person who has rejected you before.
Every client I’ve ever worked with to stop romantic rejection always makes the same mistake.
He (or she) tries to convince his ex that they are ‘good together’, and that his ex is ‘making a mistake’ and she should give him ‘another chance.’ He then gives a long list of reasons why the relationship is so wonderful, including how much he loves her. Here’s why: Security lies in having a strong connection with the other person…a connection in which she trusts and feels passion for you.
That’s why the goal right now is to get to the truth of your lover’s experience of the relationship.
The second reason this approach doesn’t work is that you’re demonstrating fear.
Now fear is perfectly Ok, especially when you’re feeling traumatized by rejection.
That same night, Hitler tested out a cyanide pill on his pet dog, Blondi, because Soviet troops were closing in on his underground bunker.
I believe this is one of the most painful events you can experience–sometimes even more than the death of a partner, precisely because it is voluntary.No matter how convinced you may be that you understand why you are being rejected — I can guarantee that you do not grasp what is happening emotionally with your ex.Sometimes, even your lover or spouse does not completely understand why he or she is rejecting you and therefore cannot possibly communicate properly.In other cases, your ex does know and has tried for years to tell you what the problems are, but because you were afraid or stubborn, you haven’t had real empathy for him or her.Believe it or not, the purpose of a break-up is to evolve you as a person–whether you want to evolve or not.